Divine Justice

If you say yes to a guy
And then
Tell another guy
You think you like him,
And then the
First guy goes out of
Your life without
Rhyme or reason...
What is it called?

Advent of Divine Justice

Haven't I had enuf?

Okay.
Haven't I had enuf already???
If it would make a change, I'd more than like to yell at a FEW men in my life:
DON'T ANYMORE TAKE ME FOR A RIDE.
I don't have it in me....the innocent naivete.
I can now SEE thru all your plans to make my life a bit more miserable.

So. Please. Get. The. Fucking.Yes. Fucking. Hell. Out. Of. My. Life.

Loving Strangers...

I was told not to talk to strangers all my school life...

I wonder why...
The best experiences in my life have involved complete strangers, who became so much part of my life for a while...
They came into my life waltzed through it and out of it, before I could blink...
Some took away a part of me, and from others I took a part away...

But I continue to dabble with them...strangers...
I ve no interest for those I have always known...
An element goes missing with them...
But the stranger has it...in plenty...

I should say I ve been lucky till now...touchwood...
Maybe anyone of my strangers could have landed me in deep troubles...
But they haven't...they ve been as harmless to me as I am to anyone...

But what will happen if some new stranger decides to be different from his predecessors? Will this thought be enough to scare me away from them?
Will I ever be scared of them?

I feel threatened by those who I know...
I cant be anything I want to be with these people...
They know me and know me well...

But with a stranger, I can be anyone...
Can't I?
I can remove the blemishes in my character...
Be someone new...be born again...

Why would I be scared of them...
My strangers...
I ve tried...hard...
But I cant and now,
I wont.

There is this one guy...

There is this one guy...
He is my dude...
He makes coffee that is
OUT OF THIS WORLD,
And that!

I ve started loving
PJs only becoz
Of him...he cracks them
ALL THE TIME!!

Tell him he pampers me
He'll refute it with
All rightful indignation...
But, hey...:)

He lives for me,
And two other women
We are his everything
He is ours...

He is a walking dictionary,
I boasted to my friends
As a kid...and
I believe it till date...

He is my inspiration
My own personal
WALL...
My all!

He is...
Versatile
Energetic
Nerdy
Kute and,
Youthful

Venky a.k.a. Kullu
Is a handfull
Even at 50+
But most importantly,

He is THE best dad...
EVER.
Our blessing...and
Our prayer.



Love you appa...:)

Another vain triumph...

I moved my hand...
A swirl took place
In a wine glass...

A light spill...
That a tissue
Took care...

...While the space between
Expanded
And then, some more...

I played with a strand
That had escaped
But still stuck to me...

We looked and
Looked away
But

He dropped his eyes first...
All to my vain
Triumph...

I still held ground, for
I was the insulated one
I was the one who

Could or wouldn't
Swirl the drink
That the wine glass

Of his life
Tempted me
With...

Her Danger

She always smelt it...the scent of danger
Her mind loved that smell...
Intoxicating, with possibilities aplenty
She wanted to take up...

He friend tutted her back to the world
Her mind reared its head shakily....
Wanted her to glare at the friend
She didn't want to be away...

From that heady feeling
That was Danger to others...
She wanted to do its bidding
Just so that it wouldn't leave...

She couldn't take her mind off it
Not until she had her way with it...
She loved the idea, the presence, the scent
Of Danger- her survival tool.

I want to talk...:)

I truly believe in Climate Change now....
It's the time of the year when the north-east monsoons hit Chennai...
It first gets delayed by almost a week...breaking centuries old met records
Then it makes the place so unlike what it is...even during this time of the year!!!!
The wind is cold and chilly...that's not something i ve known Chennai for...
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Good Morning Chennai is going to begin THIS very friday...
Does anyone realise what that means for a TV student in ACJ??
NO. Well...its this breakfast show that is supposed to run for 90 minutes...
And...WE STUDENTS PRODUCE IT...

We bring in guests this time...goof-ups wont be funny alone anymore...
People are going to form opinions...
We need to move from one set in the studio to another...WITH THE MIC STILL ON!!!!!!!!

We need to do FIVE MINUTE STORIES....like one minute stories weren't enuf to make us understand!!!! ANd this time...the anchor doesnt even have a teleprompter!!!!!!!!!!! We have to gas on our own...ON THE SPOT!!!!!!!!!!!

Oooo Maiiii Gawddddd....:D

I dunno...I think we'll go mad before it gets done...:D

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Asha went home today...so I too decided to go home...after all I did have to wash my hair...
If i dared washing it in the hostel(...which i have a couple o times out of dire compulsions like anchoring the evening bulletin...) I think ill lose the final four strands o hair left on my head...

Am PARANOID about the water there...:((

I have a bike now at the hostel...but still decided to take a bus....i ve a direct bus bak home from Madhya Kailash..:) In this weather, an empty bus..a window seat and my zune can do wonders to my mood...:)

The wind on my face is one of the finer feelings im capable of...:D
I type this from home now...that makes me traa laaa laaa hapeeee abt it :D

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India is doing pretty well in the match with Australia which s going on now...
I can hear the TV buzz...and the crowd seems happy...the commentator is pretty excited :)

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Our hostel is in Taramani...right at the beginning of the IT corridor in Chennai...
Its a long stretch of well laid road..with really wide, desolate and unlit streets branching off the main road. This is not a residential area...the place is filled with educational and other institutions...which shut by six in the evening...
Ours and the Central Government's Polytechnic college are the only ones with a hostel in that area...

Now....CPT is filled with the cheap and rowdy guys who lech and eve tease ACJ's women...its horrible. Add to that ACJ guys getting mugged, bashed up and robbed. It's pathetic.

But these were incidents to which I wasnt in any way directly connected. There was the distant lack of understanding. But a few days back, when a group of 7 girls were on the very well lit main road, I saw it happen and affect me directly.

As we were standing on the sidelane near the overbridge contemplating if we could jump the median and avoid climbing stairs, a guy on a bike tried snatching Asha's bag...

One moment we were all looking at the crazy speeds in which vehicles moved on that road...and the next we heard Asha's surprised cry....then she fell down...and got dragged on the concrete as that bastard tried till the end to snatch that bag...when he knew he couldnt go any further or when he knew all of us knew what was happening that bastard let go and sped away....

She had deep bruises on her back from being dragged on the concrete and a HUGE lump on her head where it had hit the road.

I was literally shaking...and i was swearing profusely...It didnt really strike me that he was tryin to snatch her bag...but later when the others who were more calm told me it made sense...why would a normal person who s seen that girl fall drive away so FAST??? Im sure human curiosity is better than that.

Anyways...I made my dad come to the hostel and we took her to the hospital...we had to rule out a concussion...the duty doctor said it was nothing to worry. Relief.
By the time all that was done it was around 12...or maybe 1 in the morning...
She had to have something before she cud take her medicines for the night...

So we forced-plead a Dominos guy who was shutting shop to make us a pizza....the damn nice guy that he was agreed and yay!! We were going to have some pizza after all the drama :D

We went to my cousin's place that night...no power in my house alone, thanks to the north-east monsoons in collaboration with Tamilnadu Electricity Board :

We had our pizza sitting on the swings in the park within the flat...and scared ourselves talking abt spooky stuff :D :D

It was GOOD.

She is fine now...walks slowly...extremely uncharacteristic...:(
And everytime we walk from one place to the other it usually used to be me who had to trot next to her...she walks that fast that sometimes i have to complain :D

Now i ve gotten so used to walkin at that pace that half the time i leave her trailing behind me in her slight limp...and after a few minutes of brisk trotting for no reason but habit, I guiltily turn back and wait for her to catch up....today i apologised for that...when i was REALLY limping with my crutches she walked right beside me ALL THE TIME. Never once did she leave me alone...
I owe it to her...

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Pseudo-nerd....hahaha!!

Life in ACJ...

We were coming back from a friend's place. Into an auto the five of us squeezed...
We talked about this and that and as always, wound up bitching about the auto guys in Chennai.
In English.
For we just assume auto guys don't know the language.

But what I heard that night changed that opinion forever:

P: It was my first week in Chennai and I had taken an auto to college. As usual the auto guy tried to drop me off somewhere way before our college. I made him drop me right outside college. He obviously wanted more money for that extra "mile". And I refused.

Auto Guy: You idiot!

P: (After going !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) You called me an idiot???????? YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Auto Guy: You LADY BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P: $*W&($*)E(%_(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

He apparently got out of the auto now. Fear of being hit washed over poor P, apparently!!!

P: I literally RAN inside the college!!!!!!!!!!! SHIT.

EOM.

I don't know how much deficit I have in my karmic account...
Am sure I ve got sub zero good karma...I seem to hurt people, while hurting myself...

I wonder why I can never be just friends with a guy...
It must be some curse that ruins every single friendship I try to foster...

I try not to lead on...I try to be the cold shoulder...
It just is no match to that goddamn curse on me...
He will still find a reason to ask you out, it leers at me, even now...

I havent written here in a long while...got no time literally...
I feel neglected with all this unsolicited attention...
I want to be loved as just a friend...
I don't have it in me to be anyone's someone...

Am bored...am pathetic...
I want a friend...looks too costly in my life...

I have a class in 10...
like how DB would have said it...
not 10 minutes...just 10...

I am prolly hated by many...for simply giving up...
Am sorry but I really don't have anything to give you...

At the end of even this...I just want to be left alone...

That's me...

Addy's first buddayyyyy :D

Pirindhadhai unara maruthu...

Yendru theerumo indha noi...
Marundhumillai....maruthuvarum illai...
Valithu thudipadhu kuraindhalum
Silirka vaithu maraivadhu thodarum

Udalil unarchi ullavarai... Avanai...
En noiai, yenni
Sindhum thooli kanneerilum
Avan peyar...yennai ariyamal padarum...

Vittu sendraano, illai vittu vandheno...
Indru thanithu nirkum en nizhal
Ketkum kezhviku badhilindri
Ingu vandhu pulambum nilai...

Rains that brought tears...

Raindrops ease the strain
Teardrops release the pain

Raindrops can make a sound
Teardrops can make you sound

Raindrops come with season
Teardrops come with reason

Raindrops ripple in a pool o water
Teardrops ripple in a spill of laughter

Raindrops make you want more
Teardrops make you want some(thing/one) more


Raindrops come with no strings attached
Teardrops come b'coz strings were attached

Raindrops on someone's face- beautiful
Teardrops on my face- more than merely beautiful

Pseudo-nerd loves the rain from inside...

P.S. I love you

No questions were asked
I still sought the right words...
To explain, to state...
Things which others could only comment upon
While you took them aboard...onto yourself

In my decision, you were born...
And in you was born my vent
My space in yours...
My words for mine

Hand-in-hand we have walked
Through verbal instances aplenty
Me always ranting...
Now for the 50th time around

To you I dedicate this.
My blog, you've grown to mean more
Than you can realise in your
Non-living life...

Pseudo-nerd wrote for her blog...after all 50 is FIFTY...

that made no sense, I agree...:)

One song knows your life...

What happens when you hear a song for the first time....written by some lyricist, who definitely didnt know how you felt, but still managed to, by some weird way of the world, hit the bull's eye?

You hear those lines...the tune recedes to the background...poetic license with normal words giving life to your frozen feelings...

You want to ignore the striking resemblance to ur life...but fr how long can you hold out? It gets to you...and you play that song over and over again... You know that song will remain with you forever...at least on ur ipod playlist...

Things'll change...this song may be forgotten among that list of thousands...but another chance encounter on a shuffled playlist, will bring it all back...in full force...

This is my song: Malai Neram from Aayirathil Oruvan

Pseudo-nerd switched on her laptop just to put this down...

Arv, I take inspiration from you :)

Looking away I am
Every time something amiss
Anger rising for no reason
Vexation mostly apparent
Evaporation of niceties by now

Melancholic notes in my head
Ease me into being aloof

All the time wanting something
Leveling the new with the old

Over-simplification

Need escape
Erase my head

Pseudo-nerd will not refute those who think this reflects her mood.

Writing when I hadn't planned to...

I never open my other gmail id...but today I did...and one particular mail sent by someone 2 days ago made me feel all touched...am sorry for being cheesy..but I reely was..:)
It read: Hey write something on your blog. I'm bored and I want to read something. (Or something mostly like this :P)
I felt nice reading it... So here I am writing something...For you to read, Ironmonkey :)

We have lectures all the time in this second floor seminar hall in ACJ (Asian College of Journalism) where I study. The room is filled with students, lecturers and guest speakers...they all congregate here to impart and share their knowledge and viewpoints on various pertinent issues.

But, there is a group, which attends every single lecture...sits through all of them; they never bunk. But they aren't expected to either understand or deliver after any of the lectures- the attenders and technicians who help put together the electronic support for each lecture, presentation and walk around the hall passing the mic when its time for questions.

When I see them, I always wonder if they understood what was being discussed at length everyday within the confines of this lecture hall...do they realise that they could be one of the most informed and aware in their clan, if they could grasp what was being spoken?

Assuming they don't....what does it feel like to sit in a hall where everyone talks in a foreign language, about things that appear very important for any number of reasons? Do they wonder what was going on? Do the power point presentations with charts, figures and estimates make any sense to them? And when people ask questions at the end of the session, and when they are passing around the mic...does it irritate them...to not know what was raising so many questions in so many people's minds?

I sometimes feel jealous of them...they can simply zone out when a boring lecture's happening...they don't have to know why news and numbers are intrinsically related to each other...they wouldn't have an exam, even if its an open book, class test...they can in simple terms be "physically present mentally absent". But we need 85% attendance in each lecture, and have to write exams as well!!! The unfair lives all o us lead....sigh :p

Pseudo-nerd wrote something for ironmonkey today :)

R.I.P. Mansi- the could have been ACJ graduate

I cant remember how many times in the past 3 months I ve fallen sick...
Well, for the records, if anyone s maintaining them, I am sick, yet again...
What do I write with a running nose, a burning throat and an aching face heated by some fever?

It has been on my mind to write abt this for a long time now...ever since I took that disastrous entrance exam in an attempt to get myself a seat in Asian College of Journalism, by far the country's best J-School, right here in my beauty city, Chennai!!

The paper had 2 sections: English and General knowledge. I owe it to my considerable prowess (:D) in the language, which is the reason why am now part of the ACJ Family!
The GK paper left me in such a state of demoralisation, I wouldnt want to accept it openly...
Even if I had no clue what the answer was to a particular question, I had the audacity to write something there on the space provided. On embarrassing retrospection, I found out they were so way off the mark, I had myself as well as my frends splitting into long spells of uncontrollable laughter...

That day evening, at home, I told myself and my family to just forget abt me making it to ACJ...
Then the list of ppl selected for the interview level was out...and MIRACULOUSLY (Im not exaggerating, here!!!!) my name was there on the list...it was jus too good to believe, and that is why I say, my English will save me in life :D

One day after the list was out, to which both Asha and Rashmi (my best frends in coll) had made it, the three of us were discussing...yeah...ACJ!!! They talked abt this mail that they had been sent from the management asking them to appear for the interview on a specified date and other details. I didnt remember having gotten any mail from ACJ...and I began to genuinely panic: What if my name had been put up on the list by mistake?, I wondered miserably...

On checking my mail Id again, I had received the mail two whole days earlier and the dyslexic thing Im becomin nowadays, I had missed it!!!!! Ahhhh, the RELEIFFFFF!!!!! :D:D

Interview Day:
After spending two whole days in the company of nothing but newspapers and news channels, I arrived at the Centre quite well prepared. Im sure I was scaring a few ppl with my constant discussion of possible questions and promptly answering them myself a few times or torturing my friends into answering a few other times!!!

My turn to face the panel:
I walked into the room with my meticulously prepared portfolio (which they didnt so much as glance at :|) The questions began:

Q: I see, you've got the Best Outgoing Student Award from Journalism Department in your college...

A: Yes, Sir. I have. (Smiling modestly :p)

Q: I see from your application form, you live opposite Valluvarkottam. What can u tell us abt it?

A: (I gave a whole host of details known to me )

Q: Who is the architect of Valluvarkottam?

A: (Mentally: $%#&@(#&) Errr...I dont know, Sir...

Q: Do you know, Thirukural?

ASIDE: For those o you who ve no clue wat this place is: It is a charriot like structure built as a tribute to the Tamil poet, Thiruvalluvar. It houses a statue of the poet-saint. He is the author of the book, Thirukural, which has been translated into several world languages and provides guidelines on how man should lead his life. It is acclaimed to be relevant even today, though it was composed many several years ago.

A: (Mentally, again: WTF is this!!!!) Yes, Sir. I had Tamil as m second language in school.

Q: Recite one for us

A: (Thoroughly baffled by the direction this interview was taking) * I recited the first kural, popularised by Balachandar's Kavithalaya title music :P *

Q: Why Do you think Karunanidhi (who is the current CM of Tamilnadu and the one who built this monument) suddenly built a charriot like structure for Thiruvalluvar?

A: (Openly going %$&(&*$%&^) I....don't know, Sir.

Q: You seem to have covered the 'Margazhi Season' quite extensively. What do you know abt it?

A: (I tell them whatever I knew about the season and its popular kachcheris)

Q: How many concerts are there in a seson?

A: I dont know, Sir. (I wasnt even bothering to get baffled now :|)

After such questions which brought my morale to an all time "high", I was asked a couple of questions to which I thankfully knew the answers...how come??? Because they were questions abt news in the past weeks!!!! That is how I expected the entire session to progress!!!

Q: What is your area of interest in journalism?

A: (I think this terrible answer was a product of the complete demoralisation I underwent a few minutes back) Social INTEREST, Sir.

ASIDE: There is no such area called Social Interest. Its Social Issues :|

Q: Can you tell us what u mean by the term, "social interest"?

There...that was my undoing I think. My area of interest is NOT social issues, least of all social INTEREST!!!!!!!!!!!! My interests lie in POLITICS!!!!!!! :((

I crapped so badly after that...I dont have the heart to embarass myself in such public glare by recounting what I crapped there, trying to explain what the hell ever I meant.

They finally said: That's it Aruna. You can go.

As, I was getting up...the Dean, Mr. Sreekumar Menon went : "Wait wait!!! We need to ask you the mandatory questions!!!!

I freaked out on hearing this: "What???? The interview begins only NOW?????????", screamed the voice inside my head....

Then they asked:
Will you be requiring hostel accomodation, Aruna?

I must have sighed quite audibly with relief...and that just drew more smirks from the "PANEL"

A: No, Sir. I wouldnt be requiring it. (Bcoz I wouldnt be getting admission int he frst place, I said in my mind voice...and trooped out of the room.

The next one week before the results were out...I put myself thru hell...I dont know why it made such a big difference...getting into this place...it DID!!!!

And finally, the results came:
NAME STREAM
Aruna Television

:D :D :D :D :D :D I just couldnt help feeling happy to a fault!!!!!

Now, its a almost a week since college began...the very frst day began on a tragic note, with one of the girls falling to her death from the hostel terrace the very day she checked into it...

I dedicate this post to that lost life...Mansi.

Dying to meet Death

Hands from the pitch dark
Called her forward; coaxed her on...
Whispers in her ears...
Just one more...Just one more
They seemed to chorus softly...

She left the voices behind...
Not knowing she was taking an
Irreversible step forward...
Just one more...Just one more...
The hands still beckoned...

Entering darker darkness
She left behind her shadow too
Her sole companion, thus far...
Don't stop...Just a little more...
That voice egged her on...

Down she fell that hollow duct...
The air around her making way...
Caressing her one last time
Before the waiting ground took her on...

The life within thrown out
In that bloody spurt of first injury...
She died...a Death
Entirely ordained by Fate.

Why wasn't I one, too?

I ve always wanted to be a guy in my heart o hearts...

When I was a kid...it was because they could be outside longer than me...

When I started puberty...it was because they could still wear anythng...I couldnt...

When I started making frends from their side, nobody told them they cudnt stand on a road talking with a girl...because they told me that...

I had to be bothered what other people thought about me...which was most obviously a reflection on my family's reputation...well they only had to stay away from the police stations...if possible, that is...

They could flirt with any number of women...jus would be called a playboy...which finally became a cool tag to have...if I were to have done it...i'd have been called a slut...which is still not a very cool tag...

I had to take care not to be taken advantage of by them guys...why wasnt or why couldnt it have been the other way around?

They can:
#Smoke
#Drink
#Do drugs
#Or all o the above...
And guess what? Parents are mostly quite aware that their sons arent beyond these things...but still they go scotfree... If I were to do any o it? I'll have to take ten thousand precautions to ensure my parents dont come to know...am not spotted by a mama or a perima...or an elder cousin...who will of course, be a guy!!!

Night stays...trips out o city? No problem, guys. Night stays...? Do you have to, girls? Trips out o city....? Forget it, girls.
Guys can nowadays just take their girls home...introduce them to their parents...the girl is always the frst to be introduced... Well, women are still catchin up...sorry we're centuries late...

I could go on piling up such disparities...I dont want to... I jus want to say, I WISH I WAS A GUY!!!!

Pseudo-nerd talkin...

I, Me, Chennai

Next year this time I hope I will not be here in Chennai...not because i have stopped loving the place....it's as close to me as my family and God knows how many fights I've fought over her...from her side...I once read another blogger's outlook on this city...this sleepy, dreamy city of mine...I will never forget the kind of humbling I felt at the end of my reading...not just at the blogger's knack in stringing mere words so as to make poetry in prose form...but at a strange charisma stemming from its abstract beauty...at the way she talked to me and every other Chennaiite who cared to listen...I one day decided to listen...

Quite some time ago:

Was walking out of office...my part-time job at The New Indian Express in Ambattur Industrial Estate used to take me there every Sunday...I was leaving early...in a rush to make it to an evening assignment on time...reached the bus terminus at the end of the road...it was, as always annoyingly, infested with D70 buses...not the one I needed and that justifies any amount of annoyance, I tell you! Now, if you ve lived in this city long enough and have been on its roads too...you cannot have missed these...ummmm...let's say, Urban Legends...there are these legends associated with Chennai's roads, signals, and even her buses that are quite amusing, yet spot on!!!!

The one about the signals goes something like this: If you get a green at your first signal on your way to either cathedral road or Mount Road or Anna Salai, it means u were lucky that day coz you will not be made to stop at any of the succeeding signals!!!! (If you get pulled over by a traffic cop, this legend does not hold gud...duh!!) Well then, you ve by now recognised what I'm on to, and of course, the other side of the coin: you get the red at your first signal, say a silent prayer asking for a lotta patience, coz you re going nowhere too soon!!!

Moving over to the one about the buses in Chennai...it'd be one of those hot, hotter, hottest days....you would be standing at this bus stop for that godforsaken bus to show up...you wait for 10 mins...you don't even bat an eyelid...it becomes 15 mins, you shift over to your other leg...but still going steady...20 mins, you actually make an effort to look once down the direction you think the bus's supposed to be coming...then at your watch...excuses, if late, formulate in your head involuntarily...(habit s a hard thing to give up, afterall :P) if hungry, and if smart, you'd now open that pack of chips or biscuits or take a peck on that Dairymilk you ve saved for such trying times...if tired, you look back at the stop, ony to turn back after finding each seat thoroughly occupied(!!!)...and you wait on...you hang on...25 mins...one bus...your bus...finally makes its weighed down way to your stop...you try making your way to the steps of the bus...

A battle ensues....you elbow, she elbows harder...you shoot him a disgusted, look he looks away but keeps at it...and finally, the bus...that bus has moved away....without you....you lost your first battle in 25 mins...of course, you don't lose heart...you cant lose heart, would be more apt...you go bak to your palce in the bus stop and while doing so you re not really surprised to note that all those who had been standing at the stop when you came have actually won their own tiny bus battles and gone away, only to be replaced by a new, equally ready lot...you definitely look at your watch now...shuffle beween the only 2 legs god gave you... Now, 35 mins have ticked away and you ve lost even a second battle...bravo!

You think you've had enuf...you flag down the first unoccupied auto (well, this takes time too...and it's an entirely different story all together!)...you haggle with him, he double haggles with you...petrol prices are discussed...stats exchanged and even new half-baked legislations are reminded, and finally, finally a fare is agreed on...you park that sore ass followed by legs on that bumpy, cushiony seat...arrange your bags...shift your position so that you can see yourself in that rearview mirror, and he cant and then....you look back accusingly at that mirror...which is just now reflecting a far away image of an empty bus...your bus...this time there is no battle...afterall what is it worth, if the person who has to battle, is on her way, on an atrociously priced auto ride, to wherever land, thinking...no convincing herself, what she saw must have been a mirage..."it must have...it better be...oh, plzzz forget it man!!!!!" ringing in her ears...

And finally about the roads in Chennai...she has a whole lot of them and their names are quite amusing, if you can be bothered, that is...for starters, Big Street in Triplicane is a well known street in the city...but what it actually is, is only a laughing contradiction of its name...quite a narrow stretch...more like a lane that was once maybe a big street...

Frankly, at the moment, am currently unaware of any legends associated with her roads...I'm quite certain there are...you know something? Lemme know!! :)

Pseudo-nerd is quite impressed :)

The smoke drifted apart...a dream sequence:
Useless CDs tied together and strung in neat lines, let me into a room...
I turned my head to the right...and was struck by the orange of a wall...a queen-size bed...wrapped in a beautiful cover...
Straight ahead...new drapes in a sunny, happy colour keep the sun out...
A table, a laptop, and a framed picture o someone; a wall covered by two ample beige-coloured cupboards...on opening, I found clothes neatly stacked, hung...
The other walls abound with a personal touch here, a framed photograph there...and a couple of posters thrown around reflect on the person who slept in that room...

My eyes fluttered open and I realised I had been dreaming about the same room I was in at that moment...just that it was going to become EXCLUSIVELY mine in a couple o weeks time...and that totally excites me...:D

Thought demons can't be exorcised...

"Find some one else to taunt", she screamed silently inside her head...
"You let us haunt you...we're here because you can't help being a parasite on us", jeered her thoughts.
"Do I like inflicting pain on myself?
Do I revel in that pinch of a memory that is best forgotten?", she wondered...
And they chant, "Yes you do. Yes you do. Yes you do..."

Jhankar-09 Video!!!

College was actually fun...and if u re on the council ure part of anythng and everythng that happens in college... This video by Student Council 2008-09 in M.O.P.Vaishnav College puts it down nicely...its a nice video...so Enjoii :)

One World One Rupee!! :)

Clarifying the change in my blog title!!!

Why would Pseudo-nerd want to start confessing in doublespeak???
I dunno how many of you know the meaning of the word doublespeak...but here's a picture that nails it quite simply:


Coined by the genius George Orwell, this word is a must-know for all political journalists...
Ask me why? And I'll tell you "Im yet to figure out why...I will at the end of reading this BRILLIANTLY SUPERB book called "1984" by George Orwell".
Why is this book sooooooooo great?
- It is set in the year, 1984...very obvious. But written in the 1950s!!!!
- It has been the inspiration for the World's best advertisement so far, in terms of its effectiveness.
- I think Orwell is a GENIUS...way ahead of his time...a visionary of scaring accuracy!

To everyone who has not read the book I would strongly suggest reading it!!
Though I'm only halfway through the book, I ve been so bowled over by the concept of doublespeak that I had to incorporate it into some part of me...like physically put it down somewhere...and where better than my newly skinned blog??? :))

Pseudo-nerd is me...and this is my blog! :)

Finally I figured it out!!!!!!!!! :))))

Now I can have a new blogskin everyday tooooooooooooooo :DDDD
Am sooooooooo happpeeeeeeeeeeee :))

Ogden Nash....did u have me in mind?

Disclaimer: This post is not meant to offend any dentist or dentist lovers who may or may not read this post. It is a mere expression of my personal feelings of dread when I think abt a dentist.

The most dreaded clique among Doctors must be the Dentists...why am I being bothered? Well, today evening I ve a surgery...no...an EXTRACTION!!!!! Courtesy: My "Wisdom" tooth. :| The past two days have been painful...being pounded by a fierce pain near your ear everytime you swallowed is not a pleasant experience I'd wish on a lot o people...:( It just MAKES u realise how many times in a day the human body needs to swallow.

It is a painfully frequent activity...So I go to the doctor...NOT the dentist!!! He upon examining me tells me there may be some "wear and tear"(!!!!!!!!!!!) in my jaw bone's joints...near the left ear...I may have to take an MRI scan which will suggest if or not I needed an immediate dental plus ENT procedure...in other words...a surgery!!

Freaked out as I was, considering the images that my evil, evil mind brought up for my "benefit", my dad wanted to go for a second opinion. So off we went to the dreaded den...the Dentist's clinic. There, it was proclaimed that my problem was not one of wear and tear but, of a vestigial growth for some weird reason called "wisdom" tooth. I wouldn't need a surgery on my poor (intact :|) jaw.

I would just need a small tooth extraction...Horror welling up in me, I asked the Dentist, "Will I HAVE to get it removed? Cant I jus live with an extra tooth?" He said, "Unless you'd want to keep visiting me every once in 2 months with a pain that will only intensify each time". Here, I would like to quote Ogden Nash:

"And you totter to your feet and think, Well it's over now and after all it was only this once,

And he says come back in three monce.

And this O Fate, is I think the most vicious that thou ever sentest,

That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition

When the chief reason he wants his teeth to be in good condition is so that he won't have to go the dentist "

Dear Ogden Nash, definitely you and me are soul mates when it comes to those DENTISTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :((

Pseudo-nerd doesnt want her mouth to be violated!!! :(((

Random Rants...make them legal...if they aren't already!

I don't know wat am goin to write here....this minute, I'm feeling dizzy...Yes...a few minutes back I experienced something very weird...I couldnt stand straight....I felt I was bein pushed backwards...my toes lifting...supporting that weight leaning back..."What is happening, Appa?", I asked...."You're just weak, ma....lie down for sometime....", said my dad...

As i'm lying down....my eyes involuntarily closed....I felt the light discomfort of a virtual spin..."What was happening?", I asked myself...my disturbed...or rather, perturbed mind conjured up images from the day...spent mostly outside the confines of my daily schedule...at lunch with friends...at Besant Nagar with a best friend...waving good bye to that baby boy now so much part of my days...
Slowly...very slowly it started showing me flashes of a time I didnt want to think about...when I knew what it was to be madly in love...all that hurt so much...then...now...I didnt want to see that face that haunts me till date... I force my eyes open...get myself off that bed...

I sit before my computer...stonily staring at my distorted reflection on that monitor that still hadnt come to life...I chant in my head..."You re over him. You re a new you." The screen burst into colour and sound...waiting for that command from me. Life's like the monitor...a new dimension, cloaked in mundane efforts, every time you turn it on...it waits for your command...making the most of it...giving it your best command (read: shot) is what makes it tick. "Don't give up on giving him up", I told myself as I logged into my blog...
I write here...my thoughts as they assume form in my head...it was dizzy a while back...cleared now.
Weird.
Really.

Pseudo-nerd marvels at the ability of her body to get her thinking! :)

Move on...?

Why did we leave each other?
To trade tears of being together...
With smiles after flashes of memory
Can we hold hands?
We've come so far that
My hands no longer extend
To where you are...
When will I see you again?
I believe in rebirth
Do you?

I luv bad boys behind bars...:D

I lowwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeee my new blogger profile pic!!!!!!!!!!! :DDD
I know I ve literally vanished from the blogger scene....coz am caught up in a whirlwind "romance" with a 9 month old guy...(yeah, I know u re happy for me...:P )
Anyways...a lotta other things have bin happening too...keepin me quite busy...more like on the run...on my toes...watever...:)
Hopefully, things shud settle down in a couple o weeks time...lessseeeeeeeee....:)))
Today, I learnt that my earlier blogger pic was available for the entire world...courtesy, Google image search...:| Wat an idiot I mustave bin...to not realise that...
Thanks, Nikhil! :)

Pseudonerd needs time for herself...quite desperately...:(

My Window Their Life

Not just bird watching, but
Just watching can
Also be fun
When

You have a window seat
Less crowd in that heat
A long time away
Is where you stay

Scenes from another's life
Seen through that window
All in a fleeting glance
Where...

A mass in progress
You see their faith
In that unanimous silence
All heads bowed to The Magnanimity

A flurry of people...of lives
Move past you in that thrilling blur
Luring you to take a look...
But not long enough
When...

At a juice shop behind a stop
A group of guys pose
To that camera's flash
Reflecting in your face
In...

That smirk that
Became a grin when
They notice you and
Indulge a wave...

The bus moves on...
So does life...
But in such moments
And many more that go beneath

Living stops....for that
Split second of glimpsing
Resumes in a sweep
Letting the secrets keep

What was Pseudo-nerd thinking??? Poetry??? :D

Musings by a midnight haunted

Out in the open...alone on a road though there are hordes of human figures walking similar, yet distinctively different paths...Rugged plains of my lifeland led me to a place of rare beauty....

Photographs by,
Aruna.V.Iyer
















My footsteps falter taking in the sights that it offered....lush and plush was my vicinity....I had to take a deep breath before I stepped further....







Leaving behind a past of dying brown; entering this land of enchanting colour....made me wonder what life was about, after all...













Losing a few petals, or in our case a few battles, means no shame...we're but one kind...what is it to lose when there is no game?

















Peace is probably the trophy....who wants it though? Half the time we lose sight of it...drowning in our own misconstrued idea of what Peace, probably is...wallowing in the darkness of place that reeks violence and misunderstanding...



















Can we let that line of barrier stop clouding our mind's vision for a second? Why do lines drawn by births mean so much more than the persons born?

Finally, Life is just that small gap in time before that dew drop falls down to the earth....to be absorbed and forgotten...or maybe, fall onto another petal? :)

RANDOM RANT Number: Moonuuuuuuuu :D

I give myself 15 minutes to reorganise and get into serious study mode!!!!!!
Really...at 11:13 PM on the nite before my exam...I just cant seem to convince myself to go start studying???? :|
I dunno...i ve jus gulped down a big mug of tea...in the hopes that it'll prevent me from the inevitable (read: falling asleep on my books)...this comes after an afternoon nap of four hours....sigh....

What all do I do before an exam?

Life's miseries, mysteries and melancholies come to the forefront one day before the exam.

I need to analyse my future plans today....who cares abt the near...very near future...that is my exam tomorro??

The Tv will have the best films on...especially if it s a Sunday...:|

Its the friendliest day in my life....I get SMS after SMS or I send SMS after SMS...Sometimes I even make STD calls....like THAT friendly I become!

Plan(s) Of Action to get that guy's attention...or to snub someone who snubbed me previously (read: cant remember when :P), craving for goooooooooooooddddd food....all attack me on this day...only on this day....

I want to clean my cupboard...want to find that old photograph....wonder why I don't have enuf clothes or read that Oh, so sweet slambuk entry....

And of course...the Internet...my visa to the cyberspace...here, I can open, reopen and again open all my inboxes (I have 3 different mail ids, btw) only to see that I have no new mail...

I can get hyper interested in my favourite topic, Sunsigns...and Google has enuf to keep me engaged....its fascinating, I tell you!!! :P

Or, I can blog...I can rant on my space...no one can question me...no one can tell me to stop, concentrate...u knw the wrks?

So, here, I am!!!! I want this exam to be ssssooooooooooooo O.V.E.R.
I want college to get done...but by the luks o it, I thnk ill have an arrear in the exam tomorro...but hey..not reely...I actually (at the risk o sounding too impressed with myself) end up doing pretty well in my exams, even though I haven't reely put any effort...or at least not proportional effort...NEWTON can jus go hang!!! :D

Oh...I dont copy in exams either...if at all that ever crossed ur minds...am too busy scribbling furiously in a spontaneous burst o creative energy...Im generally the first one to take an additional sheet...Wolfie an d Thoorika are witnesses to this!! :P

Anyways...I guess my 15 mins are up....booo hooooooo!!!!! I dnt want to go!!!!!!!!!!! :|

Pseudo-nerd is tearing herself away from such distractions....rippppppppp!!!!! :|