Pseudo-Nerd observes from a window seat, her world

Next year this time I hope I will not be here in Chennai...not because i have stopped loving the place....it's as close to me as my family and God knows how many fights I've fought over her...from her side...I once read another blogger's outlook on this city...this sleepy, dreamy city of mine...I will never forget the kind of humbling I felt at the end of my reading...not just at the blogger's knack in stringing mere words so as to make poetry in prose form...but at a strange charisma stemming from its abstract beauty...at the way she talked to me and every other Chennaiite who cared to listen...I one day decided to listen...

Was walking out of office...my part-time job at The New Indian Express in Ambattur Industrial Estate takes me there every Sunday...I was leaving early...in a rush to make it to an evening assignment on time...reached the bus terminus at the end of the road...it was, as always annoyingly, infested with D70 buses...not the one I needed and that justifies any amount of annoyance, I tell you! Now, if you ve lived in this city long enough and have been on its roads too...you cannot have missed these...ummmm...let's say, Urban Legends...there are these legends associated with Chennai's roads, signals, and even her buses that are quite amusing, yet spot on!!!!

The one about the signals goes something like this: If you get a green at your first signal on your way to either cathedral road or Mount Road or Anna Salai, it means u were lucky that day coz you will not be made to stop at any of the succeeding signals!!!! (If you get pulled over by a traffic cop, this legend does not hold gud...duh!!) Well then, you ve by now recognised what I'm on to, and of course, the other side of the coin: you get the red at your first signal, say a silent prayer asking for a lotta patience, coz you re going nowhere too soon!!!

Moving over to the one about the buses in Chennai...it'd be one of those hot, hotter, hottest days....you would be standing at this bus stop for that godforsaken bus to show up...you wait for 10 mins...you don't even bat an eyelid...it becomes 15 mins, you shift over to your other leg...but still going steady...20 mins, you actually make an effort to look once down the direction you think the bus's supposed to be coming...then at your watch...excuses, if late, formulate in your head involuntarily...(habit s a hard thing to give up, afterall :P) if hungry, and if smart, you'd now open that pack of chips or biscuits or take a peck on that Dairymilk you ve saved for such trying times...if tired, you look back at the stop, ony to turn back after finding each seat thoroughly occupied(!!!)...and you wait on...you hang on...25 mins...one bus...your bus...finally makes its weighed down way to your stop...you try making your way to the steps of the bus...

A battle ensues....you elbow, she elbows harder...you shoot him a disgusted, look he looks away but keeps at it...and finally, the bus...that bus has moved away....without you....you lost your first battle in 25 mins...of course, you don't lose heart...you cant lose heart, would be more apt...you go bak to your palce in the bus stop and while doing so you re not really surprised to note that all those who had been standing at the stop when you came have actually won their own tiny bus battles and gone away, only to be replaced by a new, equally ready lot...you definitely look at your watch now...shuffle beween the only 2 legs god gave you... Now, 35 mins have ticked away and you ve lost even a second battle...bravo!

You think you've had enuf...you flag down the first unoccupied auto (well, this takes time too...and it's an entirely different story all together!)...you haggle with him, he double haggles with you...petrol prices are discussed...stats exchanged and even new half-baked legislations are reminded, and finally, finally a fare is agreed on...you park that sore ass followed by legs on that bumpy, cushiony seat...arrange your bags...shift your position so that you can see yourself in that rearview mirror, and he cant and then....you look back accusingly at that mirror...which is just now reflecting a far away image of an empty bus...your bus...this time there is no battle...afterall what is it worth, if the person who has to battle, is on her way, on an atrociously priced auto ride, to wherever land, thinking...no convincing herself, what she saw must have been a mirage..."it must have...it better be...oh, plzzz forget it man!!!!!" ringing in her ears...

And finally about the roads in Chennai...she has a whole lot of them and their names are quite amusing, if you can be bothered, that is...for starters, Big Street in Triplicane is a well known street in the city...but what it actually is, is only a laughing contradiction of its name...quite a narrow stretch...more like a lane that was once maybe a big street...

Frankly, at the moment, am currently unaware of any legends associated with her roads, (I'm quite certain there are!!)...so till I find them out, this post shall continue...sleep after some work beckons...

To be continued...

Pseudo-nerd is quite impressed :)

You're Obese....Haha!!!!

Not a very "the glass is half empty" type...but truth be told, I've had a bad year so far. And how? My weighing machine has turned into this unforgiving time bomb which is slowly but steadily ticking away...just in my case its on d move fwd!!

Control over food and lifestyle is essential not only for a healthy life, but also so that you don't have to face the embarrassing questions old and new friends/acquaintances; family..or in my case, random people ask and of, course, their unending stream of pokes at you and your bloating body!

For samplers, I go to The Park Hotel on a gourmet reporting assignment that was shoved my way at the last minute. For writing a gourmet report, one NEEDS to taste the food...no, ALL the food there!!! So at the end of the main course, (when dessert s on its way) my photographer for the day, some random guy till 2 days ago, comes to me and says (in very conversational tones, mind you!) "They should be sending LEAN people for such assignments (read: you are fat and should hence stay away from such good food) + the looks that accompany a veiled insult...

At another time: I'm scripting for a short film being done by my friend's friends....now all of us know each other very well and share a good comfort level at most of the times....it get uncomfortable only when they get too comfortable with the idea that I am a sport and will take any amount of shit flung my way! They tell me stuff like "Try and fit yourself into a single chair if possible" or "You'll never have to worry about accidents- the intruding vehicle will simply bounce off you!"....they find it all very hilarious alright....but what about me who is at the butt of most of their pathetic lame jokes?

There have been a couple of times when I've lost it with them and stood up for myself, breaking my "I'm a sport" shield. But guess what? That bounced off them and they still continue unabated...(!!!!!)

The idea of this post is not to crib and give a vent to my frustrations with how the obese me is being treated...this is to give voice to the feelings of 1000s of other fat people who may be going thru similar or maybe even worse situations in their daily lives...

Through this post I want to question all thin people who take immense pleasure in poking fun at people like me...I have a big list of them:

1)Why do you have to be so proud of having some gene in you that keeps you thin? YOU DID NOTHING TO DESERVE IT!!!!

2)Do you ever think of someone's sportiveness as something that has unlimited tolerance? NO!!! Its like elastic and you re just asking for it to snap on your hand...but all the same...it'll probably shock you for a moment, then what is left is just your normal self and a damaged, good for nothing piece which was once elastic with life.

3)Do you think fat people like being that way and think all your jokes on them are actually compliments? You guys have no clue what kind of beating, constant crap about their body from people they consider friends, their confidence can take...

4)Why can't you see beyond the physical? Simply coz you re retarded!!

5)Is your ability to make others around you laugh so sub zero, that U need to use some poor person as your material? I underline the word PERSON!

6)This is not a question, just a plain yet vehement statement: GET A LIFE!!!!!!

Pseudo nerd feels bad :(

Sunday Brunch + Market= Fun Sunday!

Are you someone who gets random ideas anywhere, any day, any time? Do you talk about learning something different, while having your food, like glass blowing…but don’t know where to head? Or, maybe you’ve always been fascinated by the various types of cheeses that are there, but never found them anywhere in Chennai. Then here’s something you can cheer about- ‘The Sunday Market’ at The Park!

The popular, ongoing Sunday Brunch at The Park Hotel has some new and exciting additions to it- in terms of the food, as well as making your brunch experience complete. The Sunday Market is an off-shoot of an Italian tradition, where each town has a ‘Friday Market’ or a ‘Tuesday Market’ and so on, where the local farmers sell their produce like fruits, vegetables, cheese, wine etc.
Except, at The Park, it will be an Indian adaptation of the same. An array of cheeses like parmesan, gorgonzola, edam, mozzarella, scamoraza, at the cheese counter; a choice few ingredients like salami, prosciutto, smoked salmon, kalamata olives and salt cured olives, line the Delicatessen counter; and, whole wheat breads, muffins and cakes are aplenty at the bakery and patisserie table.
Well that’s just the beginning! The Sunday Market is essentially, a group of stalls that are put up outside the 601 restaurant, so that you can do and buy some things fun! There is a chats stall, following it are stalls for malli poo, glass blowing and kite making. The kids don’t have to feel ignored, either when there is a tops stall, where they can have and learn to spin their own tops; or they can buy a mug with their favourite cartoon on it!

Not forgetting the original purpose of going to 601, the brunch menu has a host of dishes ranging from sushi (5 veg and 5 non-veg sushi), shawarma (mostly non-veg and quite bland), seafood grills (like lamb chops, lobsters, fish etc), 15 varieties of salads, 5 types of marinades, that include chilly and soya, mustard and others, to pizzas, waffles and pancakes served with honey! All the shakes and smoothies fans also have a tall glass to grab! But wait, the menu’s story has an Indian twist to it with 8 vegetarian main course dishes like the pulav, dum biryani and a spectrum of side dishes which are accompanied by the dosa, paratha and roti counters!

Save some stomach for the finishing touch- the splendidly presented desserts! There is no need to fume, all you diet conscious eaters, as your needs are well taken care of, by a number of sugar free, yet yum desserts like the Fig Compote (a bit too sweet, naturally though!), Pineapple turnovers, Pomegranate with brandy cream to pick a few. And, for those of you who don’t give two hoots about the culprit sugar- you have the Litchee tart, which tastes exceedingly like the fruit itself, the English cake slice sprinkled with dry fruits, the tangy Blood orange mousse, the Blueberry cheesecake, which teases your taste buds, the Apple tart with the best presentation and taste among the desserts, Danish pastries, scones and many more.

All in all, like the tagline of the Sunday Brunch reads, ‘For a Fun Sunday’, head to The Park and unwind with some esculent indulgence! The Sunday Market will be integrated into the Sunday Brunch and will be an ongoing part of 601. For more information, call Sarah Stephanos- 99401 29130.

College life = Oru Kalooriyin Kadhai?

Haven’t we all heard that famous line “movies are a reflection of real life”? Ever wondered why such an idea exists? It does because we tend to equate most of the things that happen in our lives with particular scenes or, at times, the name of a movie. This happens with more frequency while in college, where movies tend to invariably become an unforgettable part of the memories we all carry with us through life. When asked to give a movie name that came instantly to my mind while thinking about some of the common terms that are always heard in college, I got quite creative :p :D

Read and laugh out loud!

Bus to college = 12B

Classes = Satham Podadhey

Lecturer = Evano Oruvan

Canteen = Vattaram

Gang Leader= Sivaaji the Boss

Friend’s B’day treat = Vettaiyadu Vilayadu

Friend’s girlfriend = Kalvanin Kaadhali

New girl on campus = Yaaradi Nee Mohini

Ragging = Anjathe

Principal on rounds = Oram Po

Industrials visits = Honeymoon Travels (PVT) LTD

Exam = Kalyug

Week before exams = Andha 7 Naatkal

Viva = Encounter

Paper Out = Plan

Examination Hall = Chamber of Secrets

Examiner = Imsai arasan 23M Pulikesi /Polladhavan

Question Paper = Arindhum Ariyamalum

Answer Paper = Kora Kagaz

Caught copying = Naan Avan Illai/ Unnale Unnale

Last Exam = Independence Day

Paper Correction = Andha Kanoon

Marks = Ashambhav

Result = Pattiyal

Pass = Mayajaalam/ Vazhthukal

Fail = Devdas

No. of arrears = Aaru

Vacations = Pirivom Sandhipom

Qualification= Tamizh M.A.

Pseudo-nerd laughed too!!

Chennaiites don't forget their past!!!

Cities all over the world have had their roots, in some way or the other, associated with the names of their busiest roads and Chennai is no different! Try these names- First Line Beach Road, Mowbrays Road, Edward Elliott’s Road, - remember them? These are the old names of what are now Dr. Rajaji Salai, TTK Road, and Radhakrishnan Salai. The post-independence Indian governments made it their business to replace the street names from the British era with Indian names and nobody is complaining!

However, it can’t be denied either that there are certain names that have proves quite difficult in getting replaced- they simply refuse to go away, even though the change has officially occurred. The most renowned example would be that of Mount Road which technically is Anna Salai now. Even though the name in name took place decades ago, many Chennaiites still swear by the original name, ‘Mount Road’. My mom, who has lived in this city for the better half of her life told me one day that she thought she’ll never get over calling Mount road Mount road, because that was how it was introduced to her and first impressions are hard to get over!!!

Lattice Bridge Road in Adyar (LB Road) is now Kalki Krishnamoorthy Road,while the famous Chamiers Road is Pasumpon Muthuramalinga Thevar Salai- both failures as far as name change is concerned. But topping this list would be Nungambakkam High Road which was rechristened to Uthamar Gandhi Salai, a name that never made any impact at all. Bharthi, my closest friend from school, had this to say when I casually asked about Nungambakkam High Road’s ‘official’ name: “I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone call Nungambakkam High Road with its official name! If I asked an auto driver to take me to that road, he would probably get confused and ask me which area I wanted to go to!”

If you thought the city’s residents were touchy about forgetting the old names of their roads then think once more! When the Tamilnadu government decided to abolish caste names from all road names, some famous ones like,Vellayan (Chettiar) Road, Beemanna (Mudali) Garden, ,Dr.Renga(chari?) Road and many more, became curiously mutilated. Of course, there were exceptions to this too, in the name of a road in T.Nagar called Dr.Nair Road- making that ‘Dr. Road’ would have been very confusing and comical to me (don't ask y...I find not comical stuff comical most o the time!! :D). Also, this abolition of caste names was not implemented in North Chennai where you can still find roads being called Linghi Chetty Street, ‘Thambu Chetty Street, Errabulu Chetty Street and so on.

And so, Chennai is the city of a splendid mix between the old and the new, for its people definitely don’t forget their ‘past’ easily! I rest my case! :)

Pseudo-nerd loves her city!!! :))

What Will I Be...?

"When I was just a little girl...
I asked my mother what will I be...
Will I be pretty...will I be rich...?
Here's what my mother said:
Que Sera Sera...whatever will be will be...
The future's not ours to see
Que Sera Sera...what will be will be..."

"Final year vandhutiya ma..? Enna panna pora idhuku apparam?" (You have come into your final year [of college :p] ? What do you plan to do after this?) This is almost like the only line of conversation people around me seem to be interested in nowadays...So what do I plan to do?? This is something upon which I ve spent enough time (thinking) over the past few months...there are 2 obvious options open to me at this point: A, I decide to go ahead with my higher education; B, I work for a year in the print medium before I pursue my Masters. It's only after a lot of deliberation that I decided upon the second option: Work.

My decision to work comes from 3 major points:
i) Print medium is where I can lay a strong foundation for my career as a political journalist and I don't want to miss out on it
ii) it will be better to have experience on my CV when I finally go for my job interview in the electronic media
iii) since my UG education in Journalism has more or less been associated with the print medium, I don't want to take the risk of doing a Masters course in Broadcast Journalism/ Masscom and then going for a job with the print medium...I might probably have lost touch with the field by that time.

Decision made, I waited for the Placements Cell in my college to start talking to those students who maybe interested in working after their third year...an abysmal 14 in a class of 49 showed interest...of which how many are truly interested is yet to be seen...this small number made me falter for a minute with my decision to work..."How can so many people think working is not a good option?", my head began to wonder....but, all said and done, I think I would like to look back at my life and feel happy that wherever I am today it is because I made a conscious choice...in this regard I completely agree with what the character Geet in the movie Jab We Met said!! I am now back to that old and tested plan for my future according to which I will work before stepping into an entirely new and vast field, the Electronic media.

Besides these serious reasons behind me wanting to work lies this other reason....financial independence...what could it possibly mean....? It is not like I come from a family that has to strive hard to make ends meet...it's the idea that I can now posses that freedom of choice to do and get whatever I want, without having to think twice. I'm not talking about frivolous spending here, though that too is definitely included!!! :D I'm talking about the freedom to save or spend the money I know I ve worked my ass off for!!! I can now join that gym I ve been wanting to join for ages....or I can go to Bounce and get a "new look"...or get the best of clothes and accessories...after all gurls will be gurls!! But there' s a flipside to this freedom where I can save up all the money I earn and fund at least a part of my higher studies...or get an education loan upon my bank credit...which'll come only when I save up...
With such thoughts I registered,yesterday, with the Placements Cell in the college...hoping for a better future to come in its wake... Pseudo-nerd really did wonder!!!

Rubbing shoulders with a lesbian...quite literally!!!

Attendence over, Asha haggled with me and Rashmi as to which staircase to use to get out of college at 1'o clock yesterday afternoon. After convincing her with something as lame as "we'll take that staircase tomorrow", the three of us walked the last few steps out of college...we walked with a purpose bcoz we had plans for the afternoon!! Just like how we do all things together (assignments, projects included :P) the three of us are part-timing with Chennaionline.com this semester and that was why we were now on our way to the bus stop just outside Isphani Center, our college's unofficial canteen!! We were headed to Thiruvanmiyur's famous 'Kafeoke' as Asha was doing a feature on them for the website, while me and Rashmi wanted to review eatouts along the Elliots' Beach.
We got on to this bus that said Thiruvanmiyur...it was almost empty:) While the two of them sat side by side, I took the seat in front of them. What we talked we don't know or care...but it definitely seemed to kind of scandalize the old (respectable, teacher-types) aunty who sat next to me during the first half of the journey!! She kept trying to not (over?)hear when me and Asha kept poking fun at Rashmi for her sudden M&B behaviour(!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and then finally gave up!! She openly started shooting us looks, if Asha is to be taken seriously!!!! :D She got off and we gave her a few minutes worth "air-time" and moved on to other more pressing issues like....well...hmmmm...watever!!!
Then suddenly the heroine (ahem...ahem!!!) of my story made her entry...she was this small (due to malnourishment I think) dark-skinned lady who didnt look distinctively different from the very many other such women you may find in one of the city's slums...lets call her Kuppamma alias Kups! Now getting back to my story...one minute I was talking crap to my friends and the next minute I'm struggling for space in that two-seater, which had seemed pretty spacious just a moment back!! Why...?? Our lady Kups had hogged almost all the space on the seat by sitting soooooooooo close to me....I caught myself thinking..."Now I know what they meant wen they coined the phrase, 'too close for comfort'"!!!!!! A
At this point our conversation about nothing in particular had to come to an abrupt stop bcoz I was too busy wondering if it was just my screwed up imagination that made me feel like Kups was rubbing...yeah RUBBING...herself against me, while the two behind me (as confirmed later) watched in mute disgust at what was happening in the seat before...some random woman incessantly "hitting" on their friend!!!!!! Then, when I turned my head to gauge their reactions, what I saw made me burst out laughing...I need not be the smartest person aboard the bus to know that they knew the woman was not straight as far as her sexual orientation went!!!!! It was written all over their faces!!! And they smirked while I squirmed...they even laughed a couple of times!!! We talked about what was happening and I made sure that I didn't resort to using Tamil words in between my otherwise English sentences...we didnt want Kups to know that we...errr...knew!!!!! :D
I tried putting up with all Kups' vain attempts at "seducing" (YUCK!!!) me...I decided it was an assault on me and was scared I'll be scarred for life!!!! :P So I told my friends that I was shifting to the empty seat behind them!!! I started getting ready to move past Kups...I sat near the window...when Kups spoke her first words( is the drama effect gud enuf?? :P): "Engamma yeranganum...?"(Where do you have to get down...?), like she was offended that I had cut short the little cosy crap she was probably having out there and actually didnt want to reciprocate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By the time the two behind had smirked to the heavens and I had told Kups that I was just moving to a seat at the back and moved out past her, that empty seat behind my friends got occupied...So I was forced to sit on an empty seat diagonally opposite Kups on the other side!!!! I was in a few minutes shakily making my way to the rear of the bus...Kups was killing me with her 'come hitherto...'glances!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In a few minutes my friends too made their way to the back and sat with me while we saw a (rejected, dejected?) Kups getting off at the next stop...it made me wonder if that stop was her destination really...or had she just gone off looking for better company????

Pseudo-nerd is disgusted-amused by the incident...will watever later...

The Chennai Super Kings have quite gallantly batted all their way into the FINALS of the DLF IPL matches!!!!!! Me being an ardent fan of the CSKs....cant stop grinning here in Delhi, whose 'Daredevils' have been shown out of the tournament, after they faced off with the Rajasthan Royals yesterday!!!! Quite naturally im drawing murderous looks from my Delhi colleagues here who are definitely of the thought that it should have been them who was grinning from ear to ear!!!! But all said and done...Chennai is after all home to super KINGS...and who better to win battles (or matches here :P) than the KINGS themselves???? :D :D Ironically, the Punjab team whom Chennai beat the shit out of tonight, have also named their team KingsXI Punjab'....but nothing like the magic of the word 'Super' I guess :P :D :D (can't stop grinning...really!!!)

Rajasthan Royals....here we come!!!!! :D

Pseudo-Nerd grins...will wonder later :)

Honour Killings- for whose honour anyways??

The media called it 'Justice for Nitish Katara'....but was it really justice?? The trial has finally come to an end...or has it?? With reports of the Yadavs' lawyers claiming that they will appeal at the Supreme Court, one really wonders, "When were these ruthless murderers going to accept that they are at fault??" Does having the wealth and status that the Yadav cousins have, mean they have the passport to a possible future out of jail, when they so cruelly snuffed out that word 'future' from some one's life? And the girl over whom this battle of blood was fought....what did she have to say? She declines having felt once upon a time, that she could not survive without Nitish and the judge calls her a 'victim of society'!!! The death of someone she wanted to marry at the hands of her own brothers is quite a traumatic situation to go through, I agree...but a stronger person's grief would have turned into rightful anger at the brutality of the murder of someone who they loved, like that of Mrs.Neelam Katara, mother of the deceased, rather than her timid submission to the whims of her father and a society which has nothing good to offer to her or the nation. She, at least after the murder of Nitish Katara, must have known of her father's mafia connections(the media was filled with stories about her family's gory mafia history)...by playing along with what he wants her to say at the court is she sending out the message that her life too was under threat? It is shocking that such musings no longer shock us, the public, who have seen over the past few years umpteen stories of man killing his own loved ones in the name of 'honour'...we have heard news reports of parents killing their pregnant daughter and her lover because they chose to differ; we have seen 14 yr old Aarushi Talwar being murdered (apparently) by her own father in the name of honour again. 'Honour killings'- the fancy name that has been coined to refer to such murders....is the idea of people being murdered by family, by itself, getting more normal and routine than the fancy, sensational thing it is supposed to be to a shocked public? Will there come a time in time when we will stop feeling shocked by these 'honour killings', just the way we now yawn and move over reports of robbery? Will our land of values, and rich heritage that preaches love for all, come to this?
Pseudo-Nerd wonders... will wonder again...