Thursday, June 26, 2008

Rubbing shoulders with a lesbian...quite literally!!!


Attendence over, Asha haggled with me and Rashmi as to which staircase to use to get out of college at 1'o clock yesterday afternoon. After convincing her with something as lame as "we'll take that staircase tomorrow", the three of us walked the last few steps out of college...we walked with a purpose bcoz we had plans for the afternoon!! Just like how we do all things together (assignments, projects included :P) the three of us are part-timing with Chennaionline.com this semester and that was why we were now on our way to the bus stop just outside Isphani Center, our college's unofficial canteen!! We were headed to Thiruvanmiyur's famous 'Kafeoke' as Asha was doing a feature on them for the website, while me and Rashmi wanted to review eatouts along the Elliots' Beach.
We got on to this bus that said Thiruvanmiyur...it was almost empty:) While the two of them sat side by side, I took the seat in front of them. What we talked we don't know or care...but it definitely seemed to kind of scandalize the old (respectable, teacher-types) aunty who sat next to me during the first half of the journey!! She kept trying to not (over?)hear when me and Asha kept poking fun at Rashmi for her sudden M&B behaviour(!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and then finally gave up!! She openly started shooting us looks, if Asha is to be taken seriously!!!! :D
She got off and we gave her a few minutes worth "air-time" and moved on to other more pressing issues like....well...hmmmm...watever!!!
Then suddenly the heroine (ahem...ahem!!!) of my story made her
entry...she was this small (due to malnourishment I think) dark-skinned lady who didnt look distinctively different from the very many other such women you may find in one of the city's slums...lets call her Kuppamma alias Kups! Now getting back to my story...one minute I was talking crap to my friends and the next minute I'm struggling for space in that two-seater, which had seemed pretty spacious just a moment back!! Why...?? Our lady Kups had hogged almost all the space on the seat by sitting soooooooooo close to me....I caught myself thinking..."Now I know what they meant wen they coined the phrase, 'too close for comfort'"!!!!!! A
At this point our conversation about nothing in particular had to come to an abrupt stop bcoz I was too busy wondering if it was just my screwed up imagination that made me feel like Kups was rubbing...yeah
RUBBING...herself against me, while the two behind me (as confirmed later) watched in mute disgust at what was happening in the seat before...some random woman incessantly "hitting" on their friend!!!!!! Then, when I turned my head to gauge their reactions, what I saw made me burst out laughing...I need not be the smartest person aboard the bus to know that they knew the woman was not straight as far as her sexual orientation went!!!!! It was written all over their faces!!! And they smirked while I squirmed...they even laughed a couple of times!!! We talked about what was happening and I made sure that I didn't resort to using Tamil words in between my otherwise English sentences...we didnt want Kups to know that we...errr...knew!!!!! :D
I tried putting up with all Kups' vain attempts at "seducing" (YUCK!!!) me...I decided it was an assault on me and was scared I'll be scarred for life!!!! :P So I told my friends that I was shifting to the empty seat behind them!!! I started getting ready to move past Kups...I sat near the window...when Kups spoke her first words( is the drama effect gud enuf?? :P): "Engamma yeranganum...?"(Where do you have to get down...?), like she was offended that I had cut short the little cosy crap she was probably having out there and actually didnt want to reciprocate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By the time the two behind had smirked to the heavens and I had told Kups that I was just moving to a seat at the back and moved out past her, that empty seat behind my friends got occupied...So I was forced to sit on an empty seat diagonally opposite Kups on the other side!!!! I was in a few minutes shakily making my way to the rear of the bus...Kups was killing me with her 'come hitherto...'glances!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In a few minutes my friends too made their way to the back and sat with me while we saw a (rejected, dejected?) Kups getting off at the next stop...it made me wonder if that stop was her destination really...or had she just gone off looking for
better company????

Pseudo-nerd is disgusted-amused by the incident...will watever later...

7 comments:

A mazed Mind Speaks said...

u actually got hit by a lesbian?.. god one hell of a experience it would have been lol:) its oki aruna it all experiences or rther lessons of life lol:) wink wink:)

Rash said...

THIS IS ONE OF UR BEST WRITTEN POSTS EVER!!!! OH MY GOD!!! I CANT STOP LAUGHING HERE!!!! EVERY WORD IS SOOOO TRUE!!! N ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...I LOVE THIS...!!!!!

Aruna Iyer said...

Pseudo-nerd says tankoooooooooooo loki and rash!! :D

ThinkAloud. said...

lol1 i ll have to leave more than one comment here!!
FIRST : u din care bout what we were talkin ??? i hope someone read that loud !!! :P
SECOND :LOL !! u just have knack of gettin weirdos towards u !! She s the best u ve managed so faar!! i don think rashmi'll disagree either :D !
THRID:you cant be soo racist , and too to the heroine(ahem ahem)psuedo-nerd!:P
FORTH:i love this post nevertheless!
clap clap for the heroine!! what will this tory be without her!!:P :P

Aruna Iyer said...

lol!!!! thinkaloud....uve almost written another post in the comment section!! :P So here s my response:
Regardin wat u and rashmi were talkin...do u thnk rashmi wud ve left me alone if i had reely got to the details of our conversation??? nd ya i definitely have the knack of drawing weirdos towards me....u both re concrete proof of the said claim!! :P and by racist wat did u mean???? i said dark skinned...not black or white!!! now thts bein racist!!!!!!!! and in the indian context, racism has no real meaning i feel!! and finally tankooooooooo for finally sayin u liked the post but still somehow managing to shift the focus from me to the "heroine" Kups!!! :D

Vimal said...

erm... that must have been embarrassing. But it cant be half as embarrassing as the two gay encounters I had.

Or maybe not. 'cos I don't get easily embarrassed.

And thats not because I am gay.

I am not.

I am just not easily embarrassed.

I should stop.

Aruna Iyer said...

abruptly* :(